It's Time



So, today is the day you are going to meet in person. You have decided where you are going to meet and when.  Be yourself, dress like you normally dress, do your hair the way you normally do it, don't add perfume if you don't usually wear it.  This is neither a job interview nor a date!  This is the beginning of what will likely be a new friendship.  Any airs you put on now must later be retracted, so just be yourself. 



1st Meeting: 



Plan to do something together where you can talk at the same time. Perhaps a walk, a coffee shop, or a quiet comfy place where you can sit and discuss some of the topics from the questionnaire/profiles.  



Because you have previously communicated online in some manner, you will likely have things to talk about. A good topic to have is each other's views on the importance of writing a Shared Home Agreement. Writing Agreements can be a difficult topic as some individuals are of the opinion that life evolves just fine without writing anything down.   But, as has been noted throughout this website, the reality is if you wish to succeed, this should not be optional.  If you find a lull in conversation it may be a good time for each of you to choose one of the topics from the list of  'Difficult Conversation Topics' which you can upload below.



Food for thought: Each of you will need time to think after having met for the first time in person, so it is suggested that no decisions be made, nor asked for at the first meeting.  If, after thinking about your meeting, either of you decides the other person is not for you, you can simply call and cancel the second meeting without any explanation required.



2nd Meeting:



There are many things that can be done beyond just sitting in a coffee shop. The following are just some ideas: Go on an art walk, or to an art gallery, or a local art tour of paintings on buildings,  go bowling,  go to a baseball game,  a rodeo,  a dog show,  a fall fair, a garden tour, a corn maze, play pool,  go fishing,  go on a Christmas light tour,  join a group of volunteers cleaning up a river bank or park,  go to a local farmers’ market,  go geo-caching, go to a nature center, a petting zoo.  Walk a nature trail, paint an elderly neighbor’s fence or weed their garden, watch a parade,  go 'window' shopping, play golf . . . look in your local paper for what is going on.



Any of these ideas will give you ongoing opportunities to have conversations about what is important to you.  There are many things to do or observe while you are meeting and getting to know another person. Whatever it is that you choose, the purpose is to provide the opportunity to spend time together in an easy setting so you can visit, talk and get to know each other.   Even busier outings like a movie, live theater, a wine and painting night, or a guided tour, will provide a topic, time to talk and just hang out.



Other meetings



There is no hurry, give yourselves the time you all need to get to know each other.  Continue to use the list above and any other ideas you come up with as you become acquainted.



The last place to meet and visit with your now very potential 'home sharers' is at each other's homes.   You can learn a great deal about each other by being in each others homes, we are all more comfortable in our usual space and we have those things around us that can help us share a bit of ourselves.  Each of you can take a turn hosting the other(s), you may choose to cook for each other, have a potluck, order in or whatever you prefer.  After your meal of choice, you can visit, play a game, do a puzzle or watch a movie on Netflix. It really doesn't matter what you do, what matters is the time spent getting to know each other.



'Difficult Conversation Topics' list: 



Download file